Ae Dil Hai Mushkil
Year: 2016
Director: Karan Johar
Cast: Ranbir Kapoor, Anushka Sharma, Aishwarya Rai, Fawad Khan

Ae Dil Hai Mushkil has kept itself in headlines for last few months, mostly for the wrong reasons. Now after watching the super-hyped, super-stretched film, the dazed mind can just imagine what must have gone into its making. Here’s a sneak peek into what might have happened in Camp KJo.

Scene 1:  (Timeframe: Approximately 1 year back. Place: Dharma Productions Office.)

KJo (to his team): “Hey guys, I am coming back!”
Team (surprised): “Where sir?”
KJo: “As a director! I will be writing and directing a new film.”

The team collectively gushes. Lots of Oohs, aahs and ‘What an idea sirji”s!

Team member A: Have you thought of the title? Is it going to be the magic of 4 words again?
KJo (Pleased): Yes. After Kuch Kuch Hota Hai, Kabhi Khushi Kabhi Ghum and My Name Is Khan, this time we will again use a 4-words title – Ae Dil Hai Mushkil and we will promote it as ADHM!

Team Member B: Wow sir! Very original title!

Team Member A: ADHM? What is the story about?

KJo: (Thoughtfully): I want to do something new; something out of the box; something which has never been seen in Hindi cinema. One-sided love between best friends; the age-old dilemma between friendship and love!

Team Member A: Like KKHA?
KJo:  No yaar! How can I repeat the same theme? This time instead of the girl, the guy will be in one-sided love.
Team Member A: A guy with a guy? I know we keep giving these hints about that thing in our films but a whole film? Will it not be too bold sir?
KJo (laughs): No, you silly. Here the guy loves a gal but she loves and marries another guy. Then the hero finds another woman, an older but extremely hot divorcee but still he cannot forget the girl he lost.

Team Member B: Wow sir! That’s so original!

KJo (continues as if in a trance): The heartbreak releases the musical passion inside him and he becomes a famous singer. Finally he meets his original love in the end but then she is dying!
Team Member A: Sir, I think Imtiaz Ali’s Rockstar and even our KHNH had something similar…
KJo (waving him aside): Hmm…I know, I know it sounds too similar but my treatment of the subject will be totally different. We will make it bigger, brighter and bolder.
Team Member A: Bolder?
KJo: Yes. Plenty of hot scenes! Let’s make all the protagonists NRIs.
Team Member A (sarcastically) : NRIs in the UK like KKKG or NRIs in the US like MNIK?
KJo: No, no US this time. Let’s settle on Europe this time.
Team Member B: Wow! How original sir!

Team Member A: What do they do there sir? I mean where do they work? Their jobs etc.?
KJo (thinks seriously): I think giving them any routine jobs will look ordinary. Let’s make all of them super-rich without a care in the world. They should just loaf around, talk about love, sing old Hindi songs, reminisce about Bollywood classics, go to swanky restaurants, travel in a private jet and dance in nightclubs.
Team member A: Sir?
KJo (Irritated): I know we do it in every film but this time it will be different. We will use the nightclubs in every place- London, Paris, Vienna. We will ask Arijit to do covers of ‘An evening in Paris’ and Lag Jaa Gale.
Team Member B: Wow! So original sir!

Team Member A: Who are our actors?
KJo: Let’s ask Ranbir to do the man-child jilted lover. He does that all the time. Anushka will play her typical bubbly girl and Aishwarya will play the older hottie. I will get Aalia and SRK to do cameos.
Team Member A: And who plays Anushka’s lover-husband?
KJo (winks): I will ask Fawad Khan for a favour.
Team Member A: Favour, sir?
KJo (hurriedly): You see it is a miniscule role. Just to improve Indo-Pak relations!
Team Member B: Wow! That’s very thoughtful of you, sir!

KJo (a determined look on his face): Come on guys! We have a mission to accomplish. A modern classic is to be made!

Scene 2 (Current day, Dharma Productions office.)

Team Member A: Barring our coterie, most of the critics have panned the film, sir. The audience reaction is terrible. They said that the story was unoriginal; the movie was boring, testing patience to the max; the comedy was off color and the melodrama horrible. The Rafi-fans are angry that the great singer was insulted blatantly. Only the songs and Aishwarya seem to have made some good impression.

Karan Johar (fuming, indignantly): Bloody B…….! They won’t know originality if it stared them in face. How can one make films in this country of d….heads? Tell Anurag…yes, Anurag Kashyap. I too plan to leave this place and go to a place where they recognize genius!

Team Member A: Sir, what do we do with that five crore cheque now?
KJo (losing temper): xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

Team Member B: No worries, sir! Still there are people recognizing true genius. NDTV has given it 4 stars and called it your best film till date!
KJo (pleased): See, I had told you so! Let’s plan a grand success party next week!

Rating:

2 stars